If you’re a people manager, you already know that 1:1s matter. They’re in the diary. You show up, you ask the questions, you try to create space. But if you’ve got that feeling they’re not landing, not really driving progress, motivation, or clarity, you’re not imagining it.
The reality is that most 1:1s fall short not because managers don’t care, but because they’re operating without a framework. No shared structure, no clear direction, limited support to tackle the difficult conversations. And without that, even the most well-intentioned conversations fall short.
Let’s dive into how we can fix that.
We know that, done well, 1:1s are the single most valuable tool a manager (and by extension, an organisation) has to drive performance, build trust, and unlock motivation.
They're proven to boost engagement: Gallup found that employees who receive meaningful feedback at least once per week are 80% more likely to feel engaged. They also note that 15- to 30-minute conversations have a greater impact than 30- to 60-minute conversations if they occur regularly.
They’ve been shown to reduce turnover: When Adobe replaced performance reviews with regular “check-ins”, they saw a 30% drop in voluntary turnover (Deloitte).
They're a huge driver of high-performing cultures: Research from the Association for Talent Development, in partnership with the High-Performance Index (HPI), found that the core elements of effective 1:1s are strongly correlated with overall HPI scores. Stating, when managers deliver high-quality 1:1s, there’s an 80% likelihood that employees see themselves as part of a high-performance team.
So, the question is: if 1:1s are so valuable, why do so many miss the mark?
Here’s what a broken 1:1 might feel like from the inside:
1:1’s with manager - how to make them more meaningful? in r/careerguidance
For anyone who’s ever sat through a 1:1 that felt like a tick-box exercise, this post hits home. Everyone remembers what it feels like to start out in their careers. You might remember that one manager who got it and gave you the safe space to show up as your most authentic self. Maybe they took time to get to know you beyond your to-do list. Maybe they asked questions that stuck with you and got you thinking differently about your approach to work, and the chances are, you still carry something from those 1:1s into how you lead today.
Maybe you remember things differently:
These experiences teach people that 1:1s have no bearing on their progression or performance, so they stop expecting anything of real value from them.
The impact of that isn’t small, because 1:1s don’t just affect what gets said in the meeting. They affect how someone feels about their company’s culture, their interpersonal relationships, their personal development, their career ambitions and more.
Whether your 1:1 experiences have left a mark for the right reasons or the wrong ones the fact you’re here suggests you want to make this space count. Because even if your experiences were positive, the chances are you’re now the one responsible for creating that space for someone else. And if your experience was lacking, you know exactly what’s at stake when 1:1s are neglected or poorly run.
Either way, there’s guidance to follow. Not to add pressure, but to give you something solid to build on, so your 1:1s aren’t left to chance or defaulted to status updates by default.
If your 1:1s feel broken, start here...
This approach doesn’t show preparedness as it treats conversation like an afterthought. While open-ended questions have their place (especially once the discussion gets going), using them as generic openers is a fast track to surface-level answers.
Most people managers fall into this trap because they’re trying to be flexible, responsive and informal, with the intention of creating a safe, low-pressure space where team members can show up and talk about what’s on their mind. While that intention matters, it's important to note that for the conversation to drive positive outcomes, it first requires a plan.
Preparedness starts by acknowledging that 1:1s deserve more than spontaneity. They need structure. They need something specific to discuss. Which leads us nicely on to...
Whether it’s employee-owned, co-owned, or manager-led, a 1:1 without an agenda is like a spreadsheet without data. It’s a road leading nowhere, no trends to track, no insights to draw and nothing concrete to work with.
Even if the agenda is messy or focused on the wrong things at inception, it still gives you something to question, refine, or improve over time. Accountability comes from taking the time to think about what matters before the meeting starts, from both sides showing up knowing what is on the table ready to be discussed.
Top tip: At OpenBlend, we advocate for a co-owned agenda, where both manager and employee actively shape the conversation, together. Because when both sides contribute, the 1:1 becomes a shared space for clarity, accountability, and progress.
There are already plenty of spaces to talk about projects: standups, kick-offs, retrospectives, reviews. 1:1s shouldn’t be a micro-extension of those meetings.
Yes, project updates matter. But that’s not the purpose of this space. If every conversation starts and ends with “what’s in progress,” you’ll never get to what’s important: development, blockers, mindset etc.
To drive performance and influence or guide behaviour change, it’s important to use the 1:1 as your protected space to focus on the person in front of you. To understand them as an individual, not just what they’re responsible for delivering. To talk about what drives them, where they want to grow and what might be getting in the way.
It also needs to be the place where goals are checked in on, feedback is shared in the moment and development becomes a regular part of the conversation.
Without bringing these sorts of topics of conversation into the 1:1, consistently and intentionally, that space gets filled with everything but what really matters.
Takeaway: Performance doesn't improve until the quality and depth of the conversation does. Our 1:1 conversation funnel offers a clear, practical method to ensure every conversation drives meaningful performance outcomes.
You don’t have to be at the same stage of life or have the same outlook on work for a 1:1 to be meaningful. You just need to be curious, intentional, and open to building rapport. And while it might be easy to assume it’s on your team member to open up before you can (for fear of otherwise overstepping the mark), meaningful conversation doesn’t happen on its own accord. It takes intention, and it often starts with you.
Try this: Before your next 1:1, bring something forward that shows you’re already thinking about their growth, their challenges, or their development.
For example:
When a 1:1 feels flat or overly formal, it rarely comes down to a lack of effort. More often, it’s because the purpose isn’t clear, the expectations haven’t been set, or the environment doesn’t feel safe enough to share openly.
At its core, the 1:1 is a space for honest, two-way communication. But to get there, you need more than good intentions, you need the right questions to open up the conversation and the presence to actively listen once they do.
Here are a few coaching-led prompts that can help:
Or for a prompt that invites feedback and encourages you to share and reflect:
You don’t need to be a trained coach to run a great 1:1, but you do need to approach the conversation like one. A few well-placed prompts provide you with the structure you need to fall back on when things fall, drift or feel surface level.
But you shouldn’t have to fix this alone.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re expected to build trust, coach performance, and support development, all in one conversation and without any direction, you’re not alone. Most managers are left to figure it out as they go.
According to the Chartered Management Institute (CMI) 82% of managers are accidental. That’s not your fault, but it is something that needs to change. Because "managing” well shouldn’t be left to guesswork.
That’s why we’ve created the OpenBlend guide to good 1:1 conversations. It's a practical resource built around OpenBlend’s conversation funnel: the essential formula for a high-impact 1:1.
P.S. if you’re in a position to change this across your organisation, book a demo.
👉 Download the guide: